Catullus 36

Chronicles of Volusus, poop-y paper, fulfill a vow for my girl. For she vowed sacred Venus and Cupid that if I would be returned to her and I would cease to brandish my fierce iambs, she would give choicest writings of the worst poet to be burned for the slow-footed god in unlucky stumps. And the worst girl perceives that she vows this wittily to the jesting gods. Now, (goddess) begotten from the cerulean sea, you who inhabit sacred Idalium and open Urii and (you) who (inhabit) Ancon and reedy Cnidus, and (you) who (inhabit) Amathus and (you) who (inhabit) Golgi and (you) who (inhabit) the Durrachian inn of the Adriatic, make the vow accepted and rendered , if it is not witless and charmless. But you, meanwhile, come into the fire, full of the country and crudities, Chronicals of Volusus, poop-y paper.